It's the New Year. Happy 2016 guys!
Today marks the first day of change, the slate's wiped clean and whatever held you back last year is no longer there to do so. If you made resolutions, today is the first day of your new routine and changing routine takes a lot of work. People fail at resolutions because they become disheartened when they realise that their lives haven't changed. It becomes so easy to give up and just go on what the same old-same old but the thing is how can you expect changes to happen if you aren't willing to work at changing up your routine?
So back to the routine change. Make a list of what would hold you back in making your resolutions work. You know what you want to do and you made these resolutions for a reason. Let everyone you love and care for know what it is you want to achieve and why so they can support you along the way. When things get tough you need to be mentally strong, can you currently describe yourself as being someone who is mentally strong? If not here are some tips on how you can be...
Kindness shouldn't be viewed as weakness. Mentally strong people know what their opinions are and don't feel the need to battle others if they don't match. Accepting other people's views and personality as being just that - other people's and embracing the differences between each of us is typically seen in mentally strong people. Anger, hatred and unfairness won't get you to where you need to be. Patience and giving people some of your time or a borrowed ear is so important to becoming a kinder you.
If you're struggling with any of these emotions follow the tips in the rest of this post to become more balanced.
△Turn Negatives into Positives
If you had a plan in place which doesn't go quite right turn admit defeat because a negatives popped up, accept the negative and make a change. Trying to quit smoking and suddenly been invited to a family event filled with members who smoke? Worrying that you're going to crack and this invites come at the worst time - what can you do? Well you could temporarily take an e-cig for just incase moments. You could go and instead of clinging specifically with a small group of friends you could make it a mission to talk to everyone there. When your friends or loved ones are out smoking, go and speak to a new person. See this negative has just turned into a positive - you'll become stronger by abstaining and you'll become more sociable, chances are this positive and friendly attitude won't go unnoticed. Be honest with others about your worries also so they can be considerate towards your needs too.
△Evaluate, Evaluate, Evaluate
You'll have an ideal in mind. When you were a child you'll have considered your future career, your future partner and possibly what car you'd drive or what your wedding day would be like. As you aged you made adjustments to that plan without even realising it. Apply this to your day-to-day life. Have your 2016 plan in mind (or on paper). Each week, month or quarter look at your plan and evaluate it. What will you achieve ahead of plan, what risks will there be, what do you wished you'd added but forgot to. Update your goals after your evaluation to stop yourself from growing disheartened. This is your life, nothing's set in stone so don't beat yourself up when rigid goals don't happen as you initially expected them to.
The best things in life never come easy. There will be a lot of discomfort in various forms in 2016, if you're not uncomfortable then you're not doing it right. The good thing is you'll remember the moments when you were embarrassed, put on the spot, placed outside of your comfort zone or maybe in some cases - physically ill. You'll also be able to look back on those moments and see how far you've progressed and, that it possibly wasn't even as bad as you originally thought it was. If it helps find a person that's done it, do you believe you're stronger or weaker than that person? If you think you're stronger in any way to that person say to yourself 'if they can do it so can I'.
That's what got me through childbirth believe it or not.
Stop saying no as much. Challenge yourself to 'yes' days so you can become comfortable with change. Pick one day per month and say yes to any new challenge that comes your way. You'll completely surprise yourself once you get over that initial anxiety but, the good thing is the more you become faced with change the easier it will be to deal with it and to move on.
Learning to accept failures is important because going over old business and constantly wasting time on the ifs and buts isn't going to change anything. Accept it for what it is, move on and learn from the mistake. Don't beat yourself up about it too much because you'd never learn and progress in life if you never made a mistake.
To be mentally strong you need to have time to de-stress. As much as you believe you're too busy or you're ''OK'' take it from me, you're never too busy and you can always destress. The human body isn't robotic, we need to clear our minds and to detach from this modern world of noise, pollution, constant social changes and modern day problems. If you didn't then there would be something wrong with you. Do you know five things that make you happy right at this moment? I mean five things that you personally enjoy away from the family and children? If you answered yes then I suggest doing it more. If you answered no then you absolutely need some time alone because you've lost your path. Being a parent, a wife, or a responsible adult doesn't mean that you should lose yourself along the way. We all need an ambition, a hobby or a dream to drive us forward in life otherwise we're plodding along and when things get tough you'll be the first person to crumble.
△Let it Go
The past holds us all back to some varying degree. Mentally strong people have learnt to let it go (you're singing the Frozen song now aren't you?). Shed the old heavy coats from the past and the labels you held and just. let. go. You'll feel so much better. Now I say this like it's an easy thing, it most certainly isn't and I completely understand just how scarring past events can be. There is help out there in the form of counselling, complementary therapies and if, need be medication via orthodox and alternative doctors. If you can work at it alone and be sure it will stick then good for you but there's no shame in asking for help to get you through your past and back into your future.
△Work Towards Happiness
So you made some resolutions. What lead you to make those resolutions? Did you wish to have more money, to be thinner, to be faster, stronger, have a job or drive a car....? Mentally strong people understand their bodies and emotions, they realise that while we can resolute to achieve things of material value the actual underlying resolution or need for change in our lives is happiness. We choose these things because we want to be happier. If your main goal in life is to work towards happiness then life gets easier. I promise you it really does.
I believe you can do this and if you make only one resolution this year make it 'happiness'. I believe in you, now do you?