When you fall in love, you expect it to be forever, but that isn’t always the case. Here are some tips on how to deal with a break up...
Try To Forget Him
Of course, forgetting your ex is a whole lot easier said than done, so no one can expect you to say ‘Who, him? I don’t care any more’ three days after he’s dumped you for his secretary. Heartbreak is okay, crying is okay, taking time to be kind to yourself is also completely okay. But you should do your best not to indulge yourself too much - don’t stalk him on social media, don’t torture yourself by looking at old wedding pictures or messages he sent you in better days. Try to go on a clean break.
Protect Yourself Legally
Divorce can be a huge emotional hit, so chances are right after a break up you’re still reeling. But it can also be a huge legal and financial hit, which means that you need to protect yourself as much as you can. Speak to a divorce mediator who can help you get through the process with minimum cost and hassle, by keeping it out of the court. Make sure that you don’t trust your ex too much - he might seem generous with money to begin with but you need to make sure that you protect yourself and your kids and that you get what you want. The realities of divorce might change his tune so get everything in writing and don’t listen to empty promises.
Spend Time With Your Friends
Make sure that you spend plenty of your time with your friends and family. If you have kids, invite your friends over on the nights that you can’t get a babysitter, and rope them in to babysit on other nights so that you can go out. Nothing will make you feel better than listening to your friends criticise your ex - if you’re missing him it’ll be nice to discover that not everyone thinks he’s perfect.
Rediscover What You Love
In a marriage you often have to compromise on parts of yourself so now’s the time to rediscover them. Go to art classes, start gardening, read more without your ex interrupting, cook foods that he didn’t particularly enjoy (if he didn’t like garlic, it’s time to add it to all your food again!). You can be selfish again now so make the most of it - the best thing in the world is to develop your own interests and loves.
Throw A Party
In her poem The End of Love, writer Sophie Hannah said ‘The end of love should be a big event. It should involve the hiring of a hall.’ What she means is that you shouldn’t just let it trail off into nothing - a huge thing is happening to you, so why not acknowledge that in your life? A year after your relationship split, plan a party to celebrate your new life. The end of a relationship might be a sad and tragic event, but try to think of it as an opening into a brand new exciting life instead.