Surviving Miscarriage | Next Steps


It's nearly a week since I miscarried our baby - yes I know technically baby bean wasn't a ''baby'' but its how I will refer to him/her because to me, s/he was our baby. Nothing changes how a mother feels when they connect with their pregnancy and, our pregnancy was very much planned for and wanted so the loss of baby bean is tough, I know its going to be tough for a long time and for the past week, I've gone over everything that could have caused it, everything that could have played a part and everything I should have done differently. 

I suppose that's normal for grief. 

I am however blessed to have amazing sons who really do help the healing process - they're aware of the miscarriage and totally understand the pain. I know they are also gutted too and have asked if we will still try. My youngest said ''I know its sad mummy, we didn't get to know the baby so it will hurt you and Chris way more - I hope the baby will be ok mummy, think positively'' he's eight years old and is absolutely the voice of reason. 

My sons have also made me feel positive - they give me hope that it's not the end of our dream to add to our family. That if they can be positive and excited about the future, then why can't I be? I really am blessed to have these three little dudes, they're a real wonder and rarity. 

Over the past week, we've had time in the house building Lego, we've played computer games and we've talked and laughed. It was snowing yesterday so we had a snow day (in my header) and they laughed so hard, they threw snowballs equally as hard and when Chris fell in the snow, most kids would kill themselves laughing, not my sons, their first response was to ask if he was OK and to put themselves in his shoes. They've matured so much and are so caring. 

When my sons have been at their dad's we've researched the hell out of miscarriage causes. We went to the doctors and have a referral to the hospital for further tests coming up, there is a twelve-week wait which is fine as long as it leads us towards some help and answers. 

Some of the things we've changed are: 

 Referral - We've been referred to the hospital to discuss further testing with specialists. 
 Talk -  I've had support and so has Chris, and we've talked and cried and had so much support that we hope to go forward while staying strong together. 
 Healing my body - I've been drinking red raspberry leaf tea to help my uterus contract and to help tone my uterus so that everything is expelled and healed. I've been eating plenty of salads, proteins and good foods and drinking a lot of water. I even went as far as to try kombucha to help heal as its fermented and apparently quite good, tastes like vinegar but I'm willing to try most things at present. 
 Healing our minds - We've talked away a lot of our concerns, and grievances. We've spent time together and got rid of so much stuff that it was causing us stress, or upset. 
 Lifestyle - We've started to look at our diet and make changes. We've looked at a lot of the things we've used and considered how we can make them more holisitic and therefore body friendly. We've planned on having regular date nights and making time for each other. 

I'm sure there's probably something we're missing but we've both talked and feel better-making changes to our diet and lifestyle rather than relying on pills and medications to solve problems. We'll give it a try and see how it goes but we'll keep you posted as always. 

Have you tried anything new after a miscarriage? Was it a success? 



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Comments are always appreciated. If you have a comment or want to discuss something 'off record' you can always drop me an email at sweetelysepr@gmail.com