Kings | He Stuck Around

For such a young relationship, my fiancĂ© and I have gone through a lot – most people are together for years and years before the first big hiccup in life comes along, but for us – we did it the opposite way around. Normally this would break a relationship, especially as we were both damaged from our histories – however:

♥ We had hiccup and hiccup after hiccup right from the start, but you know - he stuck around.
♥ While I was battling and fighting, and depressed and anxious and ugly crying and trying to remain positive with everything at that time – he stuck around.
♥ When he would tell me that I was beautiful, and I would brush him off – he stuck around.
♥ When he looked at me intently and I would hide my face because I wasn’t good at one-to-one contact – he stuck around.
♥ When I got sad about my body and hid it away – he stuck around.
♥ When I had no money and nothing to offer – he stuck around.
♥ When my confidence was at an all-time low – he stuck around.
♥ When I felt like I was punishing him just for being with him and that this gorgeous and loving man could do so much better - he stuck around.
♥ When my sons entered his life with their million and one questions and an amazing quest for life and bags and bags of energy – he stuck around.
♥ When his dream of travelling and discovering the world never came because of my real-life issues – he stuck around.
♥ When I miscarried our baby – he stuck around.
♥ When I miscarried three more – he stuck around.
♥ When I tried to push him away for his own good – he stuck around.
♥ When I lost faith in myself – he stuck around.

And the crazy thing is, he loved me more for it. Not once did he view anything as mine or his. My problems were his problems, my issues were his issues and that’s how he’s been right from the start. He believed that he was the lucky one for being with me. He believed that he was not good enough looking for me – that he had nothing to offer our future – that his lack of life skills would end our relationship. And you know what even after all our ups and downs when we disagreed about things and had the normal relationship ‘’tiffs’’ did I ever consider leaving this man.

While he believes he is not handsome enough or good looking or that I could do better all I see is someone who is oh so handsome. When I see him every day I can’t believe how lucky I am to have him in my life. I look at him and think ‘he’s so sexy’ and I genuinely feel like the luckiest lady in the world. When I see him with my sons, and their conversations or him inspiring them to be independent or to try new things – I can’t help but think how lucky we all are to have this man in our lives. Not once has he complained, not once has he ever moaned or grumbled, and truth be told, he misses them just as much as I do when they go back to their dads.

When we miscarried, my heart broke for what could have been, to then have three further
miscarriages and to lose one on Christmas Day broke me, and it broke him. My heart broke once again because of the hurt he felt, but as a man, he felt like he needed to be the strong one in the relationship. Down the line we have gone through so much and have come out stronger than ever before – we’ll go through a whole lot more I’m sure, but I can safely say that I feel confident we will get through everything that life throws at us. What I came to realise once I had Connor in my life was that the best partners bring out the best in you, they really do. While I was so negative and ashamed of my own skin and what I could offer him as a person, he never once doubted it. He believed I was the prettiest and sexiest lady out there and over time my confidence arose, with this I became happier with my own self, I became a happier and better mum for it too.

Similarly, Connor has grown too, where he was once anxious and unconfident, he has become a funny, caring, loving and sexy fiancĂ© as well as the perfect step-dad addition to my son's lives. He’s more confident, he has his head screwed on and while I’m still working on him believing that he is absolutely sex on legs, we’ll continue working on it. I didn’t change him though, I just helped him to see the person that I saw – the one no-one else got to see as it was hidden behind his anxieties.

As for the life stuff – well, we have appointments to go to for the recurring miscarriages. The
travelling we haven’t put on the back burner, it’s still on the cards and you never know, we may go travelling around the world like a bunch of hippies late into our sixties – see nothing is impossible when you find your king.


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