How To Cope When Your Marriage Is On The Rocks

All relationships go through rocky patches. After all, we’re all human. We grow and change, and sometimes we move in a different direction to our partners. Part of what keeps a marriage strong is the flexibility to move together, to share, and to sacrifice as needed. Of course, sometimes, that can simply be too much to ask. There may have been events that have made you each doubt your feelings for each other. Or maybe, you have just come to the end of the relationship.

Saving a marriage isn’t always possible. But there are many things you can try if you are both willing to. Marriage counselling offers one of the best ways to bring angry couples together in a structured conversation. Often, talking about feelings is too hard to do. Perhaps you’re not really sure what your feelings are or why you have them. Counselling can offer the best environment to explore those and begin to repair the damage.

If you have children living with you, a tense relationship will be obvious to them. Hiding it won’t help because they’ll begin asking you about it. Instead, why not share with them that the two of you are a little bit cross with each other. You could let the kids know that you would both like some space to deal with that. An open conversation will help prevent the kids from blaming themselves or getting upset about your behaviour.

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Date nights can help a couple reconnect. However, it’s important to remember that you should both give your full attention to each other. Turn off the email, social media and text alerts. Make a point of looking at each other in the eye. And do only the things you both love doing rather than trying just to please the other person. Sometimes a weekend away can help, but there may be other stresses to consider so far away from home.

If your marriage cannot be repaired, it may be a good idea to separate sooner rather than later. An amicable divorce is always preferable, especially if the kids or a new partner is involved. You can find out how to file for divorce online. Often, a prolonged period of separation is required, so it may be best to sort out new accommodation that suits everyone. Start to manage your own finances too. Figure out how the kids will be looked after financially between the two of you.

Divorce proceedings can get quite tense and stressful, so it’s best to hire a good lawyer to take care of it for you. If being with each other is too painful then this may be the best way to approach ending your relationship. It can be helpful, when appropriate, to involve your kids in conversations about future living arrangements. It will stop each partner feeling that the kids are being used in any way to hurt them.

Not all relationships can be saved. And not every partner wants to save their marriage. If you feel it’s time to move on, it may make sense to start divorce proceedings.