The Burden of Breakups: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If you’re reading an article about whether or not you should break up with your partner, chances are things haven’t been great lately. It’s always an upsetting time, but knowing when to walk away and when to stay can be tricky. Relationships do have their ups and downs, it’s not always obvious whether you’re going through a rough patch or whether the relationship has run its course. Here are a few things to consider if it feels like the end of the line between you and your partner.

What Are Your Reasons For Staying Together?

Unfortunately, many people stay together for all the wrong reasons. Are still together because you’re worried about upsetting your families? If you’ve been together for a long time, you might be convinced that you’re ‘supposed’ to be together, or that breaking up now would mean that time was wasted. Sometimes fear of the unknown, or dependence on a partner keeps you holding on. Maybe you’re jealous of the idea that they will meet someone else when you split, or financial reasons are making you reluctant to leave. While mediated divorce can help you divide up your assets and guide you through the process, the idea of losing money or property is still something that many people can be hesitant about when considering ending things. All of these are perfect examples of excuses and reasons people make for staying, when realistically they would be much happier and better off moving on.

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Has There Been Any Kind of Abuse

Physical abuse is easy to define, and if you’re being physically abused you will know about it. Punching, kicking, scratching, being pushed around or raped- it can be incredibly scary and is reason to end your relationship immediately. Emotional abuse on the other hand can be a little trickier to spot. They may belittle or embarrass you, stop you from seeing friends and family, manipulate you or make you feel guilty. Maybe they control you financially, either taking your money from you or preventing you from working. You might not see this kind of behavior as abuse, but having this kind of emotional hold over you isn’t the sign of a loving and healthy relationship. It’s a definite sign to end the relationship and move on.

Have You Grown Apart

Sometimes relationships naturally fizzle out. Neither party has done anything wrong, there aren’t any arguments, and on the surface, things seem ok. But you know the spark has gone. Perhaps you’ve been together a while and have both grown in different directions. You might find you have nothing in common any more and even find yourself imagining a life with someone else. Rather than continue down this path, it makes sense for both of you and eventually find a partner that you’re more suited to.

Whether you decide to go or decide to stay, make sure it’s for the right reasons. As Nelson Mandela once said, ‘may your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.’ Give yourself some time to think and decide what you want, so you won’t look back with any regrets.