Clomid Cycle 1 | Window into a Crazy Five Days

Side Effects Day by Day

This was my first Clomid cycle and we were started on 50mg initially, I went into this cycle hoping that we would get our BFP. I thought my ovaries would feel tender but that's really as far as I thought it would go. Here are my first cycle of symptoms.

I hope this helps some of you going through your first cycle.

Day 1 - Cycle day 3| Today I start Clomid, I’m almost giddy with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Giddy because this could mean we get our BFP this month and anxious because I’ve heard horror stories about the side effects. I’m still on my period now but it’s very light. After taking the tablet, I’ve not had any side effects other than some slight flushing in the afternoon. So far so good.

Day 2 - Cycle day 4 | Woke up super excited again, and then my mood quickly shifted to big-time cranky pants. I have been super annoyed by little things. Like the sirens being tested today at noon? Rage producing. Afternoon into the evening, a commercial could make me cry, which isn’t uncommon but isn’t commonplace either. And my desire to work? None whatsoever. Although that may have more to do with working long hours and it being gloriously springy outside. Oh, also bloated and extra hungry today.

Day 3 - Cycle day 5 | After mood swings yesterday, I spent most of the day feeling tentatively normal…but waiting for the crazy. I’m still bloated yet am happy to report that my hunger is back to normal. Feeling a little on edge and not quite myself, but the real mood swing came around 5 p.m. when I had a random crying outburst and a general poor-me feeling that “We’ll never have kids,” over and over. A bit over-dramatic. A bit.

Day 4- Cycle day 6 | Today was the day of hot flashes and sore ovaries. I literally felt them niggling and burning all day. I woke up in a weird mood, at work all day I wanted to punch everyone in the face for silly reasons. I had so much anger towards people it was crazy. Things like the way they looked at me, the silly questions they asked, how they ate their food, how they smiled – all of it angered me to the point I realized how crazy I was feeling. I went home super stressed and worn out.

Day 5- Cycle day 7 | Happy that today is my last Clomid taking day. My ovaries are burning, I feel bloated and generally just emotionally shot. I feel very ugly, I contemplate why Chris is with me, I contemplate if he is just BD because it’s a method to have a baby and I’m ‘’there’’ see the thing is he’s not done anything wrong yet I am the one who is beating myself up about these things. My subconscious is really trying to beat me down today. Tomorrow is a new day, after all, here’s today one with no tablets – it must get better, surely?

Days 6-8- Cycle day 8 & 9 | Normal. Or so I’d hoped. Today is worse than the Clomid taking days. My ovaries are killing me, the pain goes down my leg and up my back. I considered not going to work I was in that much pain. I had barely any sleep. We didn’t BD last night which made my sub-conscious pick me more with how ugly I was, that I sucked and generally was a huge failure.

I realised I can’t do this. I can’t keep beating myself up, picking on myself for each failure whether it be because we didn't BD, because we were too tired which my irrational mind made me feel it was because I was ugly or that we missed our fertile window or that it's my fault we haven’t got a BFP yet.

The rational part of me knows these things are completely crazy and they’re non-issues. Chris hasn’t done anything to make me feel this way – it’s me! I’m the one doing this to myself and, that has to have a detrimental effect on this whole TTC journey. I emotionally feel spent.

Day 10-14- Cycle day 3 | Headaches galore, nothing more to add other than feeling headachey, fuzzy and generally achy and sensitive. These days were not good days.

What I realised after this crazy but necessary phase was that my hormones really kick my butt or, at least progesterone does. I always feel far more sensitive and sad right before AF arrives but Clomid showed me that it really kicks my butt and, I maybe need to chart that time period a bit better and actually listen to Chris when he says nice things.

Overall would I do another cycle of Clomid - at the moment no. Mostly because of the pain that I felt on my right side.