Ensuring Your Marriage Starts Off On The Right Foot

It’s one of the major, noteworthy life events that the vast majority of us aim to experience once, at least, and, hopefully, at most. It’s very easy to hear those wedding bells in your head and to want to take a loving relationship to the next level but as any long-standing married couple will tell you ''marriage is work''.

You want to make sure that the work doesn’t outweigh the benefits of sharing your life with someone that you love, however, so here are a few ways you can make sure that you’re starting your marriage off right.

Ensure that it’s not just for the wedding

There’s no denying that the wedding itself can be a big part of the appeal of the marriage. Getting all of your friends and family around to celebrate your life-long commitment and step into the next major phase of your life is very exciting. However, putting too much weight on the ceremony and the evening itself and not the relationship behind it can lead to a lot of wedding stress.

You need to make sure that you’re not neglecting your relationship for the wedding and, if necessary, even think about keeping things low-key if the stress (or debt) is likely to get to you.

Make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons

There are a lot of reasons to get married. Not all of them are good reasons. If you’re looking to get married because you’re worried that your partner will break up with you, if you’re marrying to keep up with your peers, or if you’re marrying simply because it’s expected of you, then don’t be surprised if there are major relationship issues down the line.

You should marry because you are in a committed and life-long relationship with your partner, to sanctify your relationship if you are religious, and to build a family of your own, even if you only plan to make a family of two.

Of course, there are legal benefits to marriage as well but, alone, these aren’t typically a good enough justification for such a major decision.

Be on the same page with the big questions

Before you tie the knot with your partner, have you really considered what you want your married life to look like?

Just as importantly, do you know what it looks like for your partner? If not, there’s a very good chance that the two of you might be out of sync in important matters, such as children, where you’re going to live, the priority of your individual careers, and so on. Have these conversations before you plan an entire wedding, as there may be some considerations to make.

Ready yourself for some adjustments

A lot of people go into marriage expecting it to be just like their relationship was before, but with more love and commitment. That’s part of it, but you are also sharing your life, including all of its practicalities and troubles, with another person.

To that end, you should be ready to take on some marriage tips, including ensuring that there’s a foundation of respect at the base of the relationship and that you are able to communicate through your problems together. That way, if there are changes or unexpected little surprises, you have that strong foundation to rely on, as well as the tools to work through it. There will be an adjustment period, so don’t freak out when the honeymoon period wears off. At least, not too much.

Don’t expect perfection

All too often, marriage is applied as a band-aid over relationship issues and people can go into marriage expecting perfection or something near it. Marriage does not magically erase conflicts in a relationship nor get rid of the things you might consider flaws in your partner. You should expect to do some work, which may mean some arguments and may mean disagreements.

You can help grow past these by learning to understand your partner better and helping them understand you better, as well. Every marriage that goes on for years is going to have its rocky patches. You don’t have to get rid of your relationship boundaries, but you should also come in with a desire to fix any problems that arise, not simply be frustrated by them.

The tips above are not going to cover every snafu, snag, and rut that can happen in a relationship, by a long shot. However, taking the time to make sure that you’re really ready and your priorities are right can have a profound and lasting impact on the marriage so it’s a good idea to keep it in mind.

Statement: Collaboration