How To Help A Loved One Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship

We want to hope that none of our loved ones are ever in a situation where they are being threatened or abused but sadly it does happen.

In fact, the CSEW estimated 2.4 million adults aged 16 years and over, experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2022. It’s incredibly difficult to realise your loved one is in trouble and even though it might be scary for you, helping them get out of this situation is crucial.

Here are some helpful tips to help a loved one get out of an abusive relationship.

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Spot the telltale signs

There are certainly some telltale signs that come with abusive relationships and some are very easy to spot if you look closely enough. Physical abuse will be fairly obvious unless they tend to cover up their injuries.

Look out for the typical story of how they get bruises. Falling over by accident in a bizarre fashion or running into a cupboard or piece of furniture is often a specific reason mentioned. Emotional abuse is a little harder to spot but listen closely to how the abuser is speaking to your loved one.

Manipulation and gaslighting are two things to look out for that would suggest they’re being abused behind closed doors.

Speak to the victim

Take the victim off to the side where you can and speak to them about your concerns. It might be that they’re not willing to talk at first or they won’t do so while they’re in the vicinity of the abuser. However, if that is the case, then you’ll want to try and find a time when you can take the victim away from the home so that you can speak to them appropriately.

Sometimes, it might be a case of seeing something that isn’t actually there and it’s a case of mixed wires. However, for the most part, abusive behavior isn’t anything but abusive.

Consider a plan of action

In order to successfully get out of an abusive relationship, a plan is required. Simply walking out of the home isn’t going to work because nothing has been put in place to give that victim structure, stability, and security.

It gets more complicated once you’ve had children and they also need to be considered.

Get legal aid involved

Legal aid is useful because this can help in situations where they may need to get finances and custody of children from the relationship too. DV lawyers are going to be the best choice because they are specialised in this type of legal situation.

While a general lawyer may be able to have, having someone specialized in domestic violence will certainly help. Make sure to speak to legal aid before the move is made to get the person out of the home. This is all part of the plan that you need to set up in order to get them out safely and more importantly - permanently.

Speak to the police

Speaking to the authorities is crucial because despite there being some challenges with law enforcement when it comes to domestic violence, it’s good to have them on hand.

In some cases, there might already be some opportunity to get the individual arrested for domestic abuse and violence if there’s evidence. If anything, they may be able to offer some advice on how to get the person out safely and with some additional protection if needed.

Sort out accommodation and funds

The difficulty with getting out of an abusive relationship is often due to the abuser controlling all of the finances. It’s important to try and help where possible to get accommodation and funds needed if this is the case.

While this might not always be required, it’s worth doing so that the abuser can’t control their partner any further when that person has their own home and funds to rely on. It might take a while to get them up on their feet but if this can be sorted, it can certainly help them be more successful in leaving.

Go off-grid

Where possible, you’ll want to get the person off-grid, which means no phone or access to the internet/social media. Abusers have a knack for working out where their victim is, especially if they stay online and in touch with their loved ones.

At least for the initial period after leaving the abuser, you’ll want to make sure they remain off-grid and only a few trusted people know where they are.

Getting a loved one out of an abusive relationship is challenging but a relief once it’s been done so successfully. No one deserves to suffer abuse at the hands of others.

Statement: Collaboration